10 Steps to Creating a More Confident You

Building a more confident you is no easy task. Even when we succeed, many of us are confident in one thing but may lack confidence in another.

One of the most important things to remember about confidence is that it goes hand in hand with consistency – consistency creates confidence!

We often beat ourselves up for not being consistent or failing to follow through on things we previously committed to. This typically leads to negative self-talk, which makes us feel bad and erodes our confidence.

Many get stuck in this cycle of overcommitment and negative self-talk. So how do we break this cycle? Start with these 10 steps…

READ MORE | Decouple Body Image From Self-Worth To Find Your Confidence

#1. Start by being nicer to yourself

Tell yourself that you are on the right path and it is okay that you are not where you want to be yet. It is okay that you didn’t achieve your goal because what you are going to do about it next matters most.

Maybe you had other things in your life that had to take priority at that moment. Perhaps your mind or body was not ready, which is completely understandable. Giving yourself grace and forgiving yourself helps create space for what’s ahead. This should make you feel a sense of relief and help you make a fresh start.

#2. Learn how not to overcommit

Maybe we feel ashamed of committing to less than what we think we should based on what we have seen around us. For example, we see someone on social media working out every day and you say “I should also hit the gym every day”.

But if overcommitting is too overwhelming for you right now, then it is advisable to take a step back and commit to what works for your life.

You can commit to one day versus five days, or one goal instead of 10. Maybe you should change the goal altogether and rather move your body in some way every day.

By making the goal more achievable will make it easier to attain, which will make you feel better because you met your expectation.

#3. Take pictures of yourself

This may make you cringe, but I would not be where I am today, if I didn’t take photos of myself. It captures the good and the bad!

Not only is this a great tool to track how your body is changing but will help you build you confidence as you see visible changes over time.

Scheduling a photo shoot is a great way to hold yourself accountable and achieve your physique goals. I recommend finding inspiration from models you admire and practicing poses they do. You can do this at home by setting up a tripod anywhere and have fun with it. It may feel uncomfortable at first but you will get better with practice.

#4. Check how you speak about yourself

Buy a journal and whenever you have 10 minutes, write down 10 positive things about yourself. Many people who struggle with confidence often do not see their value and qualities.

When I first did this, I could only name one positive thing about myself, which was that I was a good person. It took a lot of practice to get to 10. Through my journey, I realised you don’t have to believe it at first. But when you tell yourself enough times, you will start to see it.

Like Henry Ford famously said: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” You have the ability to change your thoughts, so tell yourself you are a badass, because you are!

#5. Reflect on your past accomplishments

After each month, I note down all of the good things and little wins I achieved during that period. I then review them all at the end of the year to reflect on the past 12 months.

This process gives me the confidence and motivation to do even bigger and better things the next year!

#6. Start a gratitude journal

Make it a practice to write down 10 things for which you are thankful or grateful. Make it a daily or weekly practise. Gratitude helps you place more focus on the things you have versus the things you don’t.

I lost my older brother Angelo when I was only 5 and then my little sister Serena recently in 2018. Both were from very unexpected tragedies. Angelo was only 18 and Serena only 21. These were some of my lowest points in life. The resultant depression destroyed my confidence.

During this period, I hated the world and felt like I had lost everything, but many people in my life reminded me of all the blessings I have.

No matter why you are struggling with confidence, write down your blessings. This exercise will help shift your mindset from negative thoughts by reminding you that you are blessed in many ways and, despite all the pain, there is so much to be grateful for.

#7. Connect with like-minded people

As human, we need social connections with other people to feel fulfilled and content. It’s very easy to isolate yourself and think you’re alone in your thoughts and ambitions when you don’t put yourself out there.

It’s not until you start to open up about everything you love and everything you have been through that you can truly connect on a personal level.

There are people out there just like you with similar goals who have either done what you’re trying to do, or are willing to support you in what you want to achieve.

So, how do you connect with these people? You must open up and place yourself in an environment with people smarter than you or people who are learning in your same interests. The smarter than you is important because you are choosing to step out of your comfort zone, set your pride aside and open yourself up to personal growth, which builds confidence builds.

#8. Analyse your environment

Your environment makes a difference and says a lot about your state of mind. Have you ever felt like a mess and realised your room or house is also a mess, but by cleaning it you suddenly feel better about yourself or your life? I definitely have.

A book I recommend in this regard is The Less Effect by Samantha Joy. This book talks about how having less can actually make you feel more fulfilled. I have experienced this firsthand by having way too much in my closet and realising I didn’t look or feel good in any of it. It wasn’t until I cleaned out my closet and got rid of all the things I didn’t feel confident in. I then started to feel more confident.

If you attach any negative emotions to things in your environment or if your environment is not serving you anymore, remember that you are in control and you can change that. As I always say, “when in doubt leave it out”.

#9. Dance your heart out

Find music that lifts you up. Play your favourite songs that makes you feel alive, then free yourself and dance. Taking dance classes is a great way to build confidence because you were courageous enough to start something new while learning a new skill with other people. More importantly, you deserve to have some fun.

#10. Go to the gym

Lifting weights builds confidence because you are challenging your perceived boundaries and you are in control of your progress. A healthy body also keeps us looking and feeling young, mobile and builds our mental and physical strength.

Start by making an easy commitment, like two days a week of a full-body workout or 20 minutes a day of movement. This is crucial to confidence as

Take control

While following these steps won’t make you feel 100% confident all the time, knowing how to implement these things when your confidence levels take a dip will keep you in control of your progress and overall happiness.

You are that ambitious, positive, loving person. You are a dreamer and hard worker. Remember that you live in a beautiful world full of abundance and love and you don’t need to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

By Aviana Garcia

About the author: Aviana Garcia is a certified personal trainer, yoga instructor and mindset coach. She created the Life Outside Mindset, which helps people who suffer from loss, anxiety and depression implement mindset shifts and healthy practices into their life. A Life Outside Mindset is a movement to push people outside of their comfort zone, mentally and physically, to ultimately overcome anxiety and depression. She enjoys snowboarding, dancing, going to the gym, shuffling and pretty much anything outdoors. Connect on Instagram @avianainspo

Author: Pedro van Gaalen

When he’s not writing about sport or health and fitness, Pedro is probably out training for his next marathon or ultra-marathon. He’s worked as a fitness professional and as a marketing and comms expert. He now combines his passions in his role as managing editor at Fitness magazine.